Day Six: Israel on the Lower East Side

I meet Lisa and her girlfriend Maddie at Tapeo 29 on the Lower East Side a little after midnight.  Maddie is Israeli too, as is Rami, the bartender/manager, and so is the other guy sitting at the end of the bar chomping down on some kabobs.  I'm the only non-Israeli there.  It’s a great little spot. 

Me and Lisa

Rami shakes up a delicious lychee martini for me.  I ask him to repeat himself three times when he tells me that it will be $6.  It is the cheapest, legitimate cocktail I’ve had in New York.  Tuesday nights at Tapeo are half off.  Keep that in mind.

Hanging out with all of these Israelis, I forget that I am in New York and then realize that I won’t be for much longer.  I just traveled to Israel in a cab.

Maddie and Lisa are holding hands at the bar and I realize they are dating.  Another couple joins us.  Maddie gets up and starts clapping her hands and stomping her feet to the middle eastern music.  She grabs Lisa and they dance.   They are very intimate with each other.  Not inappropriately intimate, but its obvious that they are in love.  Then Maddie grabs my hand.  She spins me, places her hand on back and dips me.  She pushes me down until my leg kicks up and my hair touches the floor.  This is fun.  Different.

We head to the Box, where Maddie is promoting.  On our walk, I talk to Lisa. 

Lisa tells me that she was an artist and she had her own business in Israel.  It seems like every Israeli I meet is an entrepreneur.  She sculpted women’s bodies and designed her pieces to hold jewelry.  You can see her work at lisapere.com.  I ask her why she stopped.  She explains that it took so much time to make each piece and it wasn’t practical.  She came to the US to do something else.  Last week, I wouldn’t have been able to relate but now I can.

MaddieWe arrive at the Box and join a table of Israelis.  They are all entrepreneurs.  One couple lives in Ohio and they import dead sea beauty products from Israel and distribute them here.

I am chatting with an Israeli woman at the table who is visibly intoxicated. 

She asks me my name and before I can respond, she says, “Wait, I remember you.”

I tell her that I am quite sure that we’ve never met.

“The Hudson Hotel, you were there.”

“I’ve been there,” I offer.

“We danced all night!  How could you forget?”

I try to convince her that the girl she danced with could not have been me, but she doesn’t buy it. 

“I haven’t been there in months,” I explain.

“Oh, nevermind.”

Later I see her holding a girl’s hand into the bathroom.

Everyone at our table is a lesbian or bi-sexual.  I can’t say that I’ve ever been in this situation before.  As I observe, I consider whether I could be with a woman.  No, not for me.  I like men.

The Box is a unique experience.  There is a stage and a show that starts at 1:30am.  It is a burlesque show, taken to a new level.  The bathrooms are designed to accommodate sex.  I didn’t notice it until Angela, the bathroom attendant, pointed it out to me.  They have a cushion behind the toilet, mirrors, a bar to hang from and a foot pedal. 

“That is why it is a unisex bathroom,” she explains.

I am very careful not to touch anything.

If you’ve never been to the Box and consider yourself open-minded, it is over the top but entertaining.  See the New York Magazine review.

 waiting for me at home

................................

John is out of town this week so I am going to meet with him the week after next for another interview.  Tomorrow I am going to cross a few things off of the to do list and pack my bags.  Lyla and I will hit the road for Charlotte on Friday morning.

Day Five: A Rainy Day in the West Village

Monday was Martin Luther King day, so today is officially my first day not coming into work.  Despite the rain today, I want to be out of my apartment and around people, the kind of people who are at Cafes on Tuesdays at two in the afternoon.  I drop Lyla off at doggie daycare and I am wandering around the west village in search of a little Cafe where I could sit and plan my trip when I meet a new friend.  

Walking down 6^th Avenue I see a young woman who looks about my age.  She is asking a bum for directions.  While I’m sure the bum would be happy to bestow this information on her, I decide to offer some help.  “Where are you going?” I ask.  She turns from the bum and walks toward me.  

“Perry and Greenwich Ave,” She responds.  I give her the directions but I confirm with the map on my phone just to be sure.  I am really in no rush.

I notice that she has a thick Israeli accent. “Are you Israeli?” I ask.

“Yes,” she responds.
“I love Israel,” I say.
“Have you been?” She asks.
“Twice,” I reply, “one of my favorite places in the world. Are you from Tel Aviv?”
“I am.”

It turns out she is 25 too and has been living in New York for a year. After a year here, I can’t fathom why she is asking bums for directions, but I move on.  We chat for a minute and then she asks, “Want to go to the Box tonight? My friend is promoting.”  I’ve never been but I’ve heard its quite a show. I have no plans so I agree to meet her tonight.  We exchange numbers and I continue to wander until I settle at the 11^th St. Café for some oolong tea, free wireless and a place to write and plan. 

……………………..

After a few hours spent mapping out my trip and contemplating the timing, I realize that I have been a little ambitious and I won’t have enough time to make it to California before I leave for Colombia on February 18.  I’ll need to turn around sooner than I had thought.  I am also getting a lot of grief for missing so many soccer games, so by cutting the trip, I can leave after our game on Friday.  Revised game plan but I’m still going. 

In my research I found out that the Florida Keys is one of the most dog friendly tourist destinations and dogs are allowed on the beaches and in the parks.  Lyla and I are definitely going to spend some time down there.  After our trip down the coast, I will bring Lyla home and take off for Austin around February 5.  From Austin, I will fly to San Diego, rent a car and drive up the coast to Los Angeles and San Francisco, where I will take a flight back to NYC in time to leave for Colombia on the 18th. As of right now, that is the tentative plan. 

If you think you’ll be in Florida, Texas or California in the next month, or if you would like to be, please let me know.  I welcome good company.

Day Three: I'm Really Taking a Road Trip

I call my mom when I wake up before sitting down for breakfast and the Sunday times.  I tell her about my plan to take a road trip.  She discourages me.  “Bad idea,” she says.  She suggests I spend a week with her at Canyon Ranch. My mom has been right about many things that I’ve doubted her on throughout my life.  Her track record, combined with the fact that I’ve been conditioned to do what she tells me to, makes me consider not taking the trip.

As soon as I hang up the phone, I decide to stay strong to my conviction.  I haven’t been derailed quite yet.  I start planning the trip.

Meet Kate for brunch around two at Bilboquet.  I explain that I need to start cutting back the spending, but I let today be the last of my excess.  After brunch we head to Ainsworth to watch the Jets beat the Patriots and meet my college friends Nicki and Blythe, who I haven’t seen in months.  Somehow every conversation I have is more meaningful.  I am tuned in.

...........................

I can’t recall being this happy and thinking this clearly in my life.  I am elated.  I appreciate everything I have and how lucky I am.  I can’t stop smiling.



Day Two: I'm Taking a Road Trip

I have decided to take a road trip across the country.  I have to acknowledge that my friend Mat has served as some inspiration, but there are so many compounding factors that have solidified my realization that now is the time, if ever in my life, that I am going to do this.  The most recent influence in my decision was a conversation I had this afternoon with a woman named Colleen at the Ralph Lauren store.

Now, I know that I shouldn't be shopping the day after being laid off, but I need some new casual clothes.  I am not going to wear business formal for five days a week anymore. 

I'm on my walk with Lyla and I see a sale sign in the window so we step in to look.  As Colleen rings me up, we chat about New Years and I feel compelled to her tell her about my plan to travel across the country.  She tells me that she has made the trip cross-country to her home in Colorado a few times, with friends and by herself.  She will probably never do it again in her life but she is so happy she did. 

"Get some books on tape" she suggests, "see the country and kill the time by getting through some books."  With that, she reinforces what I thought I wanted and scratches the small itch of hesitation I had about actually doing it.  

I picture it.  Lyla and me, driving with the top down through the Florida Keys, checking out the music scene in Nashville, stopping in Charlotte to visit my old friend Cat, watching the sunset on the Grand Canyon, learning to surf in California, visiting some business schools in the Bay area and skiing down the Rockies in Colorado.  

The agenda this week:

1. Start a blog.  Check.
2. Make a book list.  I will have a lot of time on the road so I am going to put together an ambitious reading (listening list).  Any suggestions are very welcome.  The book list so far:
   1. The Power Broker: Robert Moses and the Fall of New York
   2. The Great Gatsby (one of my favorites)
   3. Churchill: A Life
   4. Pride and Prejudice
   5. War and Peace
   6. Undaunted Courage : Meriwether Lewis, Thomas Jefferson, and the Opening of the American West
3. Map out the trip (loosely).  I’ll start to plan this tomorrow morning.



Day One: I Lost My Job

Friday, January 14, 2011

When I woke up yesterday I sensed that it would be the first good day of many to come.  I just felt it.  Things were about to change for me.   That evening, I began to prepare for my first interview in four years.  

Four years ago I interviewed for summer internships before my senior year of college.  After joining Lehman Brothers the next year in 2008, I survived the bloodbath of layoffs around the bankruptcy and financial crisis.  I maintained my job and stopped looking.  It wasn’t until recently, two years later, that I realized I should start looking again.  So when a headhunter contacted me about an opportunity, I followed up and welcomed the possibility of meeting for interview. 

Because my interview skills are a little rusty, I sought advice from my friend Kate.  Kate instructed me to build him up, express interest and admiration, make him laugh, demonstrate my strengths and skills through stories, turn his questions back to him and keep him talking. 

“The most important thing is that he likes you,” she said.  “He puts his pants on one leg at a time just like everybody else.  Be confident.” 

…………………….

It’s 9:30am on Friday morning and I arrive at my desk.  I sit down at my computer and I continue prepping for my interview; researching the guy and refreshing myself on some of the models I’ve built and deals I’ve worked on.  I have an hour to do this before I need to leave for my interview. 

Half an hour goes by, its 10am.  My phone rings and its Daniel, the head of my group, calling from the 8^th floor.  He asks me to come up to conference room 8A.  “Do you need me to bring anything?” I ask. 

It doesn’t hit me until I get to the elevator bank.  I am about to be laid off. 

How can I postpone the delivery of this news until after my interview?  What is next?  I emerge from the elevator and head to reception.  I ask the receptionist which way to 8A.  “Down the hall, first door on the left,” she responds with regret.  She knows my fate.  I walk into the room and Daniel is sitting in the windowless room with Jackie from HR.  There is an envelope on the desk with my name on it.

“You know, we had a lot of cuts this week, hundreds,” he explains.   “Revenues…  Costs…”  I can’t hear what he saying, but the message comes through.  I am laid off.  But I really need to get going to this interview, now.  

I tell Daniel and Jackie I have an interview to go to at 11am and that I need to get through this as quickly as possible.   It is 10:15am, “Ok, I really need to go,” I explain.  Jackie understands and is outwardly relieved to not have to deal with another somber lay off.  We rush through the paperwork, which I agree to read over in detail later, sign and mail back. 

I return to my desk.  As I pack my stuff Daniel calls me into our conference room.  “You know this isn’t about you,” he explains sympathetically. 

“I know.  It is just accelerating what was already coming in June.  It makes complete sense, I understand,” I respond.  I mean it.

“Just breath, you are going to do great,” he assures me.

I come back to my desk and finish packing.  Daniel offers to send my stuff in a car to my apartment so that I don’t need to drag it to the interview.  I am appreciative. 

“It’s been fun!”  I exclaim to my team.  I hug everyone goodbye, grab my coat and rush through the revolving doors that I have spun through everyday for two and half years, but I don’t acknowledge that this is the last time.

…………………….

I step outside and hail a cab.  “The Chrysler Building,” I direct.   My mind is racing.  I feel relieved.  Severance, fantastic.  But I’m in a slight state of shock.  I need to focus.  This is a big moment, a defining moment.  How should I deal with what just happened?  Am I able to walk into an interview unshaken right now?  It doesn’t matter.  I have to try.

In the cab, I call Kate.  She doesn’t answer.  I try her again, but again, no answer.  The third time she picks up.  She tells me what I know, but I need to hear.  “Focus on the interview.  Don’t think about what just happened.  Deal with it after.  I am taking you out for a champaign lunch, no matter what.” 

I smile, thank her and put my phone away.  I close my eyes and begin to breath deeply.  The pounding in my heart begins to slow as the cab pulls in front of the Chrysler Building. 

It’s 10:40 am.   I have 20 minutes to really pull it together.  Maybe I should get a coffee.  I see a Chase bank.  Running an errand will break up this sequence of events.  I step inside to deposit a check.  I feel as though everyone can read me, as if somehow they know what just happened and what I am about to do.   I panic.  I remember to breath.

I walk into the Chrysler building and take two elevators to get to the 71st floor.  I step into an office with triangle shaped windows and 20-foot ceilings.  I’m on top of the Chrysler building.  I imagine myself working here, how it might feel to arrive here on a Tuesday morning in the summer. The friendly receptionist takes my coat and asks me to wait in the conference room while John finishes a call.  I have time to regroup. 

I analyze the books on the shelf.  He has Titan, The Big Rich, Power Broker, and Atlas Shrugged to name a few.  I notice an old telescope pointing out of the window.  I peer through it but it’s blurry.  If I try to focus it, I might break it.  That would not be a good way to start this interview.  I’ll just stand next to it.  I stare out of the window, at the vast New York skyline.  This is the skyline that Dagny Taggart likened to the highest achievement of man’s productive mind.  I realize that I want to create something tangible.

If only I could forget what just happened.  Whatever happens right now, it doesn’t matter.  I don’t know what I am going to say, but I have confidence that I will use the right words.   I must walk in confident and unperturbed.  I need to walk out knowing that I could not have done better, on any day.  Everything is going to fall into place.  I am embrace the unknown.  I am free, finally. 

I close my eyes.  

Ok. Katie, you can do this.  Forget what happened.  It didn’t happen.  Focus.   

And just like that, I do.

…………………….

After leaving his office, I felt great.  John said that he would like me to meet more people at the company next week. 

I meet Kate for lunch at Nello’s before heading home to play with Lyla and decompress.  After a bite, Carly and I shared a cab to Chelsea Piers, where we won our soccer game.

Today was a great day.