Day One: I Lost My Job
Friday, January 14, 2011 Friday, January 14, 2011
When I woke up yesterday I sensed that it would be the first good day of many to come. I just felt it. Things were about to change for me. That evening, I began to prepare for my first interview in four years.
Four years ago I interviewed for summer internships before my senior year of college. After joining Lehman Brothers the next year in 2008, I survived the bloodbath of layoffs around the bankruptcy and financial crisis. I maintained my job and stopped looking. It wasn’t until recently, two years later, that I realized I should start looking again. So when a headhunter contacted me about an opportunity, I followed up and welcomed the possibility of meeting for interview.
Because my interview skills are a little rusty, I sought advice from my friend Kate. Kate instructed me to build him up, express interest and admiration, make him laugh, demonstrate my strengths and skills through stories, turn his questions back to him and keep him talking.
“The most important thing is that he likes you,” she said. “He puts his pants on one leg at a time just like everybody else. Be confident.”
…………………….
It’s 9:30am on Friday morning and I arrive at my desk. I sit down at my computer and I continue prepping for my interview; researching the guy and refreshing myself on some of the models I’ve built and deals I’ve worked on. I have an hour to do this before I need to leave for my interview.
Half an hour goes by, its 10am. My phone rings and its Daniel, the head of my group, calling from the 8th floor. He asks me to come up to conference room 8A. “Do you need me to bring anything?” I ask.
It doesn’t hit me until I get to the elevator bank. I am about to be laid off.
How can I postpone the delivery of this news until after my interview? What is next? I emerge from the elevator and head to reception. I ask the receptionist which way to 8A. “Down the hall, first door on the left,” she responds with regret. She knows my fate. I walk into the room and Daniel is sitting in the windowless room with Jackie from HR. There is an envelope on the desk with my name on it.
“You know, we had a lot of cuts this week, hundreds,” he explains. “Revenues… Costs…” I can’t hear what he saying, but the message comes through. I am laid off. But I really need to get going to this interview, now.
I tell Daniel and Jackie I have an interview to go to at 11am and that I need to get through this as quickly as possible. It is 10:15am, “Ok, I really need to go,” I explain. Jackie understands and is outwardly relieved to not have to deal with another somber lay off. We rush through the paperwork, which I agree to read over in detail later, sign and mail back.
I return to my desk. As I pack my stuff Daniel calls me into our conference room. “You know this isn’t about you,” he explains sympathetically.
“I know. It is just accelerating what was already coming in June. It makes complete sense, I understand,” I respond. I mean it.
“Just breath, you are going to do great,” he assures me.
I come back to my desk and finish packing. Daniel offers to send my stuff in a car to my apartment so that I don’t need to drag it to the interview. I am appreciative.
“It’s been fun!” I exclaim to my team. I hug everyone goodbye, grab my coat and rush through the revolving doors that I have spun through everyday for two and half years, but I don’t acknowledge that this is the last time.
…………………….
I step outside and hail a cab. “The Chrysler Building,” I direct. My mind is racing. I feel relieved. Severance, fantastic. But I’m in a slight state of shock. I need to focus. This is a big moment, a defining moment. How should I deal with what just happened? Am I able to walk into an interview unshaken right now? It doesn’t matter. I have to try.
In the cab, I call Kate. She doesn’t answer. I try her again, but again, no answer. The third time she picks up. She tells me what I know, but I need to hear. “Focus on the interview. Don’t think about what just happened. Deal with it after. I am taking you out for a champaign lunch, no matter what.”
I smile, thank her and put my phone away. I close my eyes and begin to breath deeply. The pounding in my heart begins to slow as the cab pulls in front of the Chrysler Building.
It’s 10:40 am. I have 20 minutes to really pull it together. Maybe I should get a coffee. I see a Chase bank. Running an errand will break up this sequence of events. I step inside to deposit a check. I feel as though everyone can read me, as if somehow they know what just happened and what I am about to do. I panic. I remember to breath.
I walk into the Chrysler building and take two elevators to get to the 71st floor. I step into an office with triangle shaped windows and 20-foot ceilings. I’m on top of the Chrysler building. I imagine myself working here, how it might feel to arrive here on a Tuesday morning in the summer. The friendly receptionist takes my coat and asks me to wait in the conference room while John finishes a call. I have time to regroup.
I analyze the books on the shelf. He has Titan, The Big Rich, Power Broker, and Atlas Shrugged to name a few. I notice an old telescope pointing out of the window. I peer through it but it’s blurry. If I try to focus it, I might break it. That would not be a good way to start this interview. I’ll just stand next to it. I stare out of the window, at the vast New York skyline. This is the skyline that Dagny Taggart likened to the highest achievement of man’s productive mind. I realize that I want to create something tangible.
If only I could forget what just happened. Whatever happens right now, it doesn’t matter. I don’t know what I am going to say, but I have confidence that I will use the right words. I must walk in confident and unperturbed. I need to walk out knowing that I could not have done better, on any day. Everything is going to fall into place. I am embrace the unknown. I am free, finally.
I close my eyes.
Ok. Katie, you can do this. Forget what happened. It didn’t happen. Focus.
And just like that, I do.
…………………….
After leaving his office, I felt great. John said that he would like me to meet more people at the company next week.
I meet Kate for lunch at Nello’s before heading home to play with Lyla and decompress. After a bite, Carly and I shared a cab to Chelsea Piers, where we won our soccer game.
Today was a great day.
Reader Comments (1)
Love your perspective! Looking forward to reading more