Day 200: A New Ambition

S is in New York this week and I am catching up with him before he heads back to the west coast tomorrow.   We’ve been exchanging emails since our conversation on the flight to San Francisco and he has been helping me figure out my next move.  He advises me to put my resume away for now and “write 500 words of what your ideal role looks like and how everything you have done to date leads inevitably to this.  you need to find a way to be vulnerable and thoughtful but confident and strong at the same time.  this is what I look for at least in bringing in talent into my startups.”

S does not capitalize in any of his emails.  It’s his way of asserting that he is his own boss and doesn’t need to be formal with anyone. 

I spend the weekend writing.  I demonstrate through my experience that I am not afraid to leave my comfort zone to try something new or different and then explain how I would apply this attitude and outlook at a start-up.

I meet S for drinks and we catch up on our lives before I ask him if he had a chance to read what I wrote.  “Yes,” he says and then pauses.  “It’s good.  You are a good writer.  But I really wanted to hear more about the dog and Argentina.  There needs to be more wanderlust,” he explains. 

He thinks for a moment.  I wait, intently.  “I don’t see you working at a start-up,” he continues.  “Forget business development.  You need to have your own thing.  You shouldn’t be working for someone else,” he asserts.

I am a little taken aback by this feedback, but I trust his advice.  I listen.  “One of the hardest things to manage, but you have to, is being accountable to yourself.”

I don’t know where to start.  I need to figure it out. 

“Right now, just keep writing,” he advises.